A Hormone Test

Three hours out of Anchorage, MATS Super Connie, starboard electrical fire, back to Sea-Tac. Seats in the upright position, all sharp objects out of pockets, put on inflatable life jackets, listen to stewardess's instructions.

After maybe five minutes of OMG! there was calm. I looked out the window at Canadian forest, and wondered how much good a Mae West would be. A few people had mistakenly inflated their jackets; the stewardess climbed over passengers, deflated the jackets and gave out new ones.

We landed without incident on a foam-covered runway, with emergency vehicles racing alongside. Women and children were automatically shunted to the exits. As we walked on the tarmac to the terminal, I remarked to my seat mate how lucky we were, and how we had a plane crash survival story to tell our grandchildren. He looked back and smiled.

'Did you see the ass on that stew, climbing over those seats? I'd do this again, just for that view!'

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